The Gifts of Imperfection

By Brene Brown

Each day we face a barrage of images and messages from society and the media telling us who, what, and how we should be. We are led to believe that if we could only look perfect and lead perfect lives, we’d no longer feel inadequate. So most of us perform, please, and perfect, all the while thinking, “What if I can’t keep all of these balls in the air? Why isn’t everyone else working harder and living up to my expectations? What will people think if I fail or give up? When can I stop proving myself?”

In The Gifts of Imperfection, Brene Brown, PhD, a leading expert on shame, authenticity and belonging, shares what she’s learned from a decade of research on the power of Wholehearted Living—a way of engaging with the world from a place of worthiness.

In her ten guideposts, Brown engages our minds, hearts, and spirits as she explores how we can cultivate the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, “no matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough,” and to go to bed thinking, “Yes, I am sometimes afraid, but I am also brave. And yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am worthy of love and belonging.”

Brene Brown is one of my favorite authors for self-help and research. She just turns things on their heads and helps you see things from a totally different perspective. I loved her book “Daring Greatly” which focused a lot on shame resilience and vulnerability and how it was a good thing. In this book she focuses mostly on Women and how imperfection is truly a gift and how to accept yourself whole-heartedly and live the truth that you are enough and your worth doesn’t depend on how much you get done in a day or what others think of you or even what you believe about yourself. It’s a book about loving yourself and giving yourself a break. I really enjoyed it, but still prefer “Daring Greatly”. Brene Brown does a few TED talks that are definitely worth watching too. like this one: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o

I give it a 3.5 out of 5

The Highly Sensitive Person

By Elaine N. Aron

Do you have a keen imagination and vivid dreams? Is time alone each day as essential to you as food and water? Are you “too shy” or “too sensitive” according to others? Do noise and confusion quickly overwhelm you? If your answers are yes, you may be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)

Most of us feel overstimulated every once in a while, but for the HSP, it’s a way of life. In this groundbreaking book, Dr. Elaine Aron, a clinical psychologist, workshop leader, and an HSP herself, shows you how to identify this trait in yourself and make the most of it in everyday situations. Drawing on her many years of research and hundreds of interviews, she shows how you can better understand yourself and your trait to create a fuller, richer life.

I loved reading this book. I have only just begun to understand what being a “highly sensitive person” means, and how it isn’t a weakness or something to be ashamed of. There are differing degrees for everyone, and I was happy to find out that I wasn’t the only one having the experiences that are described in this book. This is all about how people who are Highly sensitive are overstimulated and cannot handle the “normal” amount of input that others can. We need quiet, we need space, we can’t handle the same amounts of time at a party or the same amount of noise. It isn’t because we’re defective, it’s because we are more aware of everything around us, we’re constantly focused and deeply present. Not to say that other people don’t experience these same things, it’s just that HSPs are like that the majority of the time and find it hard to switch off. For example, some noises can hurt my ears and bring tears to my eyes, like the sound of metal ringing. Some textures make me have anxiety, and feel wrong. The cold is draining and I feel it more keenly than most to the point where if I am not at a comfortable temperature I get teary because it hurts. This book not only explores and explains HSP traits, but helps those who experience them to cope and use them in a very noisy world. It’s an eye-opening read and I enjoyed it immensely.

I give it a 4 out of 5

Habits of Happiness

By Wendy Ulrich

Our Father’s plan for us is often referred to as “the great plan of happiness,” but we sometimes struggle to feel as happy as we’d like. Are there really some simple things we could do to feel happier?

You may not have thought that such suggestions as “Don’t even try to get motivated to exercise” and “Stop hoping to find friends” would show up in a book on happiness, but those are just a couple of the “habits of happiness” Dr. Wendy Ulrich invites readers to consider.

The perfect blend of scientific research, engaging anecdotes, and practical advice that you might not have expected can help you discover new ways to feel a little better about life.

This is one of those small one-sitting reads from Time Out for Women, a gathering of (you guessed it) women, usually member of the LDS religion. I enjoyed this one in particular because it give suggestions and ideas for being happy and not just generalities. She talks about going and doing things instead of hoping and wishing for them to just happen. It’s all about the choices we make and how much we really want certain things in our lives. The key to happiness is our choices and ultimate actions. If you want friends, make them. If you want to exercise do it. Again, it’s a good solid motivating read about what happiness is and how you can gather more of it into your daily life.

I give it a 3.5 out of 5

Daring Greatly

By Brene Brown

“It is not the critic who counts; nor the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly;…who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” –Theodore Roosevelt

Every day we experience the uncertainty, risks, and emotional exposure that define what it means to be vulnerable, or to dare greatly. Whether the arena is a new relationship, an important meeting, our creative process, or a difficult family conversation, we must find the courage to walk into vulnerability and engage with our whole hearts.

In Daring Greatly, Dr. Brown challenges everything we think we know about vulnerability. Based on twelve years of research, she argues that vulnerability is not weakness, but rather our clearest path to courage, engagement, and meaningful connection.

This was one of the most helpful and insightful reads I had the past year, and I’ve found myself thinking about it with increasing frequency. This is a book about vulnerability. It’s about all the times that we as human beings feel awkward, uncertain, and exposed, and why it stops us in our relationships, our jobs, our lives, and why it shouldn’t. I’m starting to look at my own vulnerability in new ways, and by accepting my own feelings of vulnerability I have had the courage to dare greatly in new ways I never thought I would by being open and honest and realizing that vulnerability is not the same as weakness. This book is amazing at opening your perspective and I can’t recommend it enough to those of you who enjoy taking a deeper look into your lives (you introverts out there are piqued huh?) and finding a braver way to live your life and be happy in your choices.

This gets a 4 out of 5

E-Squared

By Pam Grout

Don’t face reality. Create reality! E-Squared could best be described as a lab manual with simple experiments to prove once and for all that reality is malleable, that consciousness trumps matter, and that you shape your life with your mind. Rather than take it on faith, you are invited to conduct nine 48-hour experiments to prove there really is a positive, loving, totally hip force in the universe.

This was an intriguing read. It’s basically a book about quantum physics talking about the all-encompassing energy of the universe and how that energy can be put to use for you in your life. This book begins with a basic explanation of this “force” that allows you to create your own reality. The premise of the book is not just thinking positive, it’s creating a positive experience by thinking about and looking for signs from the universe. One of the exercises is to choose a color and then see how many cars of that color you see within 48 hours. Not just any color, but a very specific color. It’s the principle of you don’t see it when you aren’t looking for it. So, this book is saying that if you want a new job, you need to give the universe a time limit to help you achieve your goal, and you need to put all your thoughts and energy into it as well, and more often than not good things happen simply because you expect them to. It’s an interesting concept and one that I’ve used since reading this book and it’s worked for me. Like once I woke up really sick and knew I had to get to work so I gave myself a mantra, “I will be fine until I get home from work,” and I said that as I got ready, as I drove, and as I walked in the door at work. The longer I said it the more I believed it and I really was fine…until I got home then I was sick as a dog! Weird, but effective. It doesn’t work all the time for me, but it works often enough that I’ll try to psych myself out.

This gets a 3.5 out of 5 for an interesting and helpful perspective on the power of noticing things and changing your thoughts. 

Confessions of an Unbalanced Woman

By Emily Watts

Do you ever feel as if your life is out of balance somehow? Is it just too hard to get it all in—the family, the Church work, the job? Does it seem like everyone’s needs are being met but yours? If you could use a little lift, this book is what you’re looking for!

With her trademark humor and common-sense insights, author Emily Watts describes her own desperate—and sometimes ludicrous—struggle to find balance in her life. Her quest was foiled at every turn…until she made an unexpected discovery that shifted her perspective dramatically. What if there were something better than balance?

 

 In true form, Emily Watts gives women a great message with great humor. She has a great analogy of a washing machine getting out of balance and it made me smile; I think this has happened to everyone who’s had to learn to do their own washing at an early age. It’s a nice feel-good book that will leave you smiling and give you some great ideas about obtaining what you really want for your life.

 

I give it a 3.5 out of 5

The Uses of Adversity

By Carlfred Broderick

Some kinds of pain seem to run too deep for words. What can you say that could possibly be of any help to someone who is having one of those “Gethsemane” experiences? Carlfred Broderick has some answers that may surprise you. Acknowledging that pain comes into all our lives, he uses a variety of personal stories to demonstrate that what we do with that pain is part of what shapes us as human beings.

In the end, what really matters is not what happens to us but what our experiences teach us about God. This remarkable little books shows us that He is indeed our Father, and His love will ultimately reach deeper than any trial we might encounter in mortality.

 

This is a really short book with stories about people who have gone through some of the hardest trials out there; losing children, abuse, etc. It is a great little snippet of why God allows these things to happen to His children and how we can come to understand how we can rise above and work with the adversities we are given in this life. I enjoyed it and honestly, there are a few gems of wisdom that it is worth reading this little 60 page book for.

 

I give it a 3.5 out of 5

20,000 Days and Counting

By Robert D. Smith

The day for change is today and it’s more simple than you realize.

 Most people sleepwalk through day-to-day life, passively letting time slip away. Unfortunately, the only thing that can usually wake people up to the intensity of life is impending death. But what if you didn’t have to be that way? 20,000 days presents breathtakingly simple strategies and concepts that, once applied, will enable readers to be 100% present and intentional with every passing minute of every day, for the rest of their lives.

The book is designed to be read in under an hour and the effect is immediate. Within each segment are tactics for mastering control of your life; principles such as:

·         Motivation is a myth

·         You only have two choices, yes and no

·         How to conquer rejection forever

·         How BECOMING the problem with SOLVE all your problems

·         Three sentences that will change your life immediately

 These timeless principles apply to everyone from the pending graduate to the seasoned business professional; from the time-starved parent to the weary pastor to the restless entrepreneur.

 On the 20,000^th day of his life, the author sent an email that inspired and reminded a group of people of all ages to live in the moment. This group now includes you.

 

 So, true to the boast, I read this book in one sitting in about an hour and a half. It was pretty awesome, and I still go back to all the stuff I highlighted. It gives a lot of insight into the way we think the walls we get stuck in front of by simply focusing on the wrong things. One of my favorite parts of the book was the story he told about a young man who held onto this motto: No reatreats. No Reserves. No Regrets. This book is filled with little precious gems of wisdom, perfect for the start of any new goal or resolution. I’d recommend it to those people who have a hard time feeling successful, or wanting to change.  It’s a great self-help like book, but more about attitude and happiness.

 

I give it a 4 out of 5 Because it gave me some awesome epiphanies.

The Healing Code

By Alexander Lloyd and Ben Johnson

 

The Healing Code is your healing kit for life--to heal the issues you know about, and the ones you don't. In 2001, Dr. Alex Loyd discovered how to activate a physical function built into the body that consistently and predictably removes the source of 95% of all illness and disease so that the neuro-immune system takes over its job of healing whatever is wrong with the body. His findings were validated by tests and by the thousands of people from all over the world who have used The Healing Codes system to heal virtually any physical, emotional, or relational issue, as well as realize breakthroughs in success.

His testing also revealed that there is a "Universal Healing Code" that will heal most issues for most people. In this book you will get that Universal Healing Code, which takes only minutes to do. The book also includes:

• The Seven Secrets of life, health, and prosperity
• The 10-second Instant Impact technique for defusing daily stress
• The Heart Issues Finder, the only test that identifies your source issues in a succinct personalized report.

 

 

After reading the Healing Code, I was pretty amped up to try this 'miracle' that will heal any problem. The one thing that you need when you start to read The Healing Code, is that this isn't magical cure for all disease; this is a process meant specifically to heal your heart issues. What does that mean? It means this is for those memories you can't seem to get by, or forgive. This book has all the science of how the codes work and explains very simply and in plain terms how cellular memories are at play in our daily lives. This book goes through the testimonials and also the science as well as the actual codes and how to preform them on yourself or someone else. It also gives a code that you can enter at their website to take the Heart Issues Finder, which will help you see where you can improve while doing the codes.

So I know what question you're mentally pointing in my direction: "Does it really work?"

My answer: I think so.

Don't get me wrong, I started doing it and immediately found relief for a myriad of debhilatating problems I was having physically, but I was rather hit and miss and the way for this to work the best is to do it consistantly and at least 3 times daily. I have no doubt that if I got really into it and was faithful it would really help change my perspectives and help me let go of some issues I've stubbornly hung onto.

Doing a healing code is a singular experience. The first time I did one I was exhausted afterwards, but all you do is sit and raise your arms for 6 minutes. I was emotionally drained, but it felt more like having run a long way and being tired in a proud way. The other amazing thing that happened was as I worked on the things that upset or bothered me in my life, I started to remember things that had been playing a huge part in my life problems that I had burried in the back of my mind. While I can't say, yes this cured me! I can say, this is an amazing book and has great potential if you are willing to put in the time (it's only 6 miutes 3 times a day) it can and will change your life.

Introvert Power

By Laurie Helgoe

 Embrace the power inside you.

 Are you an introvert? Psychologist and introvert Laurie Helgoe reveals that more than half of all Americans are. Introverts gain energy and power through reflection and solitude. Our culture, however, is geared toward the extrovert. The pressure to enjoy parties, chatter, and interactions can lead people to think that an inward orientation is a problem instead of an opportunity.

 Helgoe shows that the exact opposite is true: Introverts can capitalize on this inner source of power. Introvert Power is a groundbreaking call for an introvert renaissance, a blueprint for how introverts can take full advantage of this hidden strength in daily life. Supplemented by the voices of several introverts, Helgoe presents a startling look at introvert numbers, influence and economic might.

 Introvert power includes ideas for how introverts can learn to:

• Claim private space
• Carve out time to think
• Bring a slower tempo into daily life
• Create breaks in conversation and relationships
• Deal effectively with parties, interruptions, and crowds

Usually I'm not one to read self-help sorts of books, thinking that most of them are simply oppinion and not really going to help long-term, but this book was both enlightening and really changed the way I see myself. I'm one of the many introverts out there who loathes getting stuck in social events and then feels pathetic when I just have to leave a party because I'm going crazy because I can't think. This book teaches introverts how to live in an extrovert world, and how to be assertively introverted and like exactly who they are and see why it's a great thing to be an introvert. It's nice to have somebody tell you that you aren't insane for craving alone time and feeling like you're unraveling when you don't get it. Basic difference between extroverts and introverts: Extroverts get energized from being around people- the more the better, while introverts get that grounding and energy from ideas and solitude. So nice to finally understand that I'm not abnormal and weird and that being introverted IS NOT A BAD THING!!!!

4 1/2 out of 5 (Because I no longer feel like I have to fake extroversion!)